What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Can you share a lesson that you learned later in life and how it has impacted your current lifestyle, mentality, or attitude?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Do leftists understand why young men are becoming more right-wing?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

How do I complain on a boy coming to marriage with me without my involvement despite no connection with him though he had an illegal affair?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Make Nazis afraid again!

How do I cope with the fact that I will never have a girlfriend?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What happens if a parent refuses to let their child be transgender? What happens if the parent tries their hardest not to allow their child to be trans, like flushing every bottle of their trans child's HRT down the toilet?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

What is after school detention like in your school?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Why is there so much evil in the world?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

What would Spanish sound like if only latin and Greek words were used, like some romance analogy to anglish?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

What does the Bible say about the Antichrist? How will we know when he arrives on the scene?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What is an easy way to get your driver's license?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

TEXT:

Why does a straight man like anal penetration?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority